Thursday 29 January 2009

When language goes wrong


This particular gem, recently discovered on a review of the various different photo albums, was snapped by Laura during the day of the Parachicos. It's probably worth mentioning that the license plate belongs to a bus owned by the church.

Chiapa de Corzo
29th January 2009

Monday 26 January 2009

Ordered Chaos; A Mexican Carnival

Last week saw the festival signed off with a grand carnival, bringing together all the elements of the chaos and debauchary over the last month. The teaching staff and vaious different families with which we were affiliated took up station on the second storey of my familys´ shop, cameras poised to snap anything that moved. The procession was led by the "Annuncio" crowd, an exciteable gaggle of children dressed as ranch hands mercilessly harassing a man with the effurgy of a bull on his back, who took great delight is stampeding said children into the front rows of spectators to roars of approval from the crowd. For those who are unsure, an Annuncio is an event designed by some of the greatest minds in known event management history; a party whose entire existence serves to bring attention to an upcoming larger party. I am not entirely sure if this concept has been further extended to encompass Annuncios for Annuncios (infinite regression is entirely possible here), but judging by the attitude of the townsfolk this month, it is entirely possible.


Next came the Chuntas, led by the same racially questionable gentleman present at my night of cross dressing. The Chuntas were a force to be reckoned with, spraying the surrounding crowd with confetti and, bizzarely, root vegetables.

A series of carnival floats followed, each intricate in its own design and showcasing a range of "carnival queens", who waved regally to the crowds (an adorable sight in the case of the chubby 7 year old versions) and dispensed a range of candies, money and corporate merchandise. Every community group seemed to have their own float, from the cheeky "forest pixie" primary school childrens float to the beautifully presented and noticably aloof chinese society.

The Chinese Societies` float was supplimented with a Chinese dragon procession and entusiastic percussion, which came to blows somewhat with the following masses of Parachicos, eager to blow off steam before their dormancy for the rest of the year. Squabbles and bickering spread among the two different factions due to the commonly held perception that the Chinese lot were moving too slowly, and finally with a display of restrained democracy the dragon moved to one side as the Parachicos thundered past them, spreading everyone thin in their overcooked desire for progress and concluding with a rather sweet and confused regrouping a short distance down the street. Meanwhile the the dragon and the rest of the Chinese Wannabe Mexicans re-established their cohort with a lot of unecessary reversing of vehicles, shouting and pointing and, to the cheers of the crowd, proceeded to enthusiastically charge up and down the street once more, scattering pedestrians and spectators in all directions.

The carnival queen followed this debacle, smiling and waving to the onlookers laden with chocolate, money and vegetables and, finally, it was over. In retrospect, I wonder what I would have made of the bizzare cow baiting, cross dressing and masked antics if I did not have the benefit of a couple of weeks orientation with the various different components of the wonderful events of the last month. I can only think that, as opposed to being consumed by the randomness of it all, I was able to appreciate the synergy of the various different elements of the traditions and truly appreciate the pride and passion of the participants, as well as the perceptable sorrow that they would, for the next 11 months, sink into a state of expectant longing for next January.

Chiapa de Corzo
26th January 2009January 2009

Saturday 24 January 2009

Jon Clarke, National Mexican TV Star Transvestite


As you may have gathered from one of my previous posts, I was (mis)fortunate enough to be featured on Mexican national television in my first week dressed as a lady. Well, thanks to the wonders of modern technology and the openness of the TV networks here, you can now view my TV appearance.

I´m so embarrassed. Many thanks to Padre Javier, who took great delight in being present for my first viewing of the footage.

Chiapa de Corzo
24th January 2009

Tuesday 20 January 2009

Latin American Brands I Love: Sol

The staple diet for Fiesta de Enero (aside from tacos and churros) is the mighty Michelada. The principal purveyor of these skull splitting Mexican versions of the bloody mary is Sol; I knew about Sol before I departed the UK, but it is here in their native setting that the company truly comes into their own.

Unconstrained by the scruples of the diverse range of regulatory bodies in England, Sol gleefully uses the simple but incredibly effective method of association with scantily clad women with large breasts to flog its wares. Another of their specialities is paying lip service to drinking responsibility with superb irony. A couple of nights ago I noticed the warning message below; for reference I´ve also included a picture of one of these mighty cups in use. For the uninitiated, "Evita El Exceso" translates to "Avoid Excess".



Chiapas De Corzo
20th January 2009

Monday 19 January 2009

Men in Masks

Saturday morning dawned and I begrudgingly dragged myself from my bed, beset by an unpleasant mixture of head cold and hangover from the night before; a riotous affair involving prolific table dancing and the death of my camera, returned to me in the middle of a nightclub with the lens bent at un unseemly angle. Today was the day that I and my fellow teachers were to engage in the procession of the Parachicos, another piece in the convoluted jigsaw that constituted the Fiesta de Enero. My unsuitable awakening was driven by the advice of my Madre that we would not be able to get a costume unless we rose unsociably early. I was preempted at the door by a surprisingly chipper Martin, given that it was his 8th party day on the trot, and we shambolled down the road to my familys´store.


The rest of the gang arrived in dribs and drabs and within minutes we were standing in an Aladdins Cave of costumers; the same place room which I´d previously been rejected in my application for a Chunta costume. After trying on a range of elements of the Parachico outfit that we were required to wear to participate in the procession and reflecting with hilarity on the excessive diameter of my head, unsuitable for all but the largest hats, we dispersed with the intention of reconvening to dress at around 11.30; I went straight back to sleep.

Donning our costumes somewhat later than expected due to the tardiness of our group that was to become characteristic of the day, it became immediately apparent that the outfit, thick and heavy, would be uncomfortable worn as intended in the heat of the mid-day sun; a thick blanket, trousers and long sleeves, a gigantic hat that resembled a blonde afro and a heavy wood carved mask were all conducive to immediate and extensive perspiration. The mask, in particular, induced instantaneous pain as it was tightened into place, mashing my nose into an unnatural shape and pressed tight into my forehead by my giant hat. The other logistical issue was my field of vision, abysmal through the tiny apertures in the eyebrows.

Armed with "chin-chins", a metallic rattle, we blundered out into the street and attempted to locate the procession. Incubating my illness behind my mask and within my heavy, hot clothes I began to feel grumpy.

We eventually located the procession, a huge convoy of similarly dressed people dancing to the familiar sound of drums and whistle flutes. Still flailing around with a non-existent field of vision we plunged into the procession and lost each other almost instantaneously in a field of ornate masks, everyone indistinguishable from everyone else. I doggedly laboured forwards within the press of bodies, shaking my chin-chin, attempting to dance and pick out the words within the muffled cries that emanated from callers within the crowd as the relentless sun beat down upon our insulated shoulders, cursing my hangover, illness and willingness for participation. It was a strange, unsettling affair, the movement and dancing constricted by the costumes and the sounds repressed by the masks. I began to experience a strange feeling as I moved with the costumed and faceless multitudes, one that I heard echoed by the others after talking later with them. They described it as a spiritual feeling, a moment of acute awareness of the self. Within my costume, anonymous to the outside world, I felt safe and introverted in the knowledge that no-one knew who I was (the antithesis of the night of the chuntas) but I was surrounded by a great crowd of similar people, all isolated in the same way as me with no hope of connection with their external similarities and suppressed field of vision. I was alone, but felt overwhelmingly to be an intrinsic part of something much greater.

I continued on for a while, caught up in the feeling until the intolerable heat of the costume forced me to the roadside to lift my mask for a short while and see if I could identify any of my friends. While I was standing watching the tide of Parachicos passing by I noticed one particular participant shuffling forward, head moving side to side and noted, with a degree of perverse satisfaction and delayed inevitability, as they walked smartly into the back of a parked truck.

Incredibly, I managed to pick Abi out of the crowd from her shirt and we shuffled and shook our way to an undercover contraction in the street where a marimba band was serenading the passing Parachicos. The noise, heat and crush of bodies were too much, and it was with a degree of relief that we eventually emerged to a crossroad where the procession seemed to dissipate. We removed our masks and hats and, red faced, sat in the shade to take lunch and watch the world pass.

It was a wonderful spectacle. Strings of flags flutter ed overhead in the breeze framed by clear blue skies. Groups of parachicos strode past, shaking chin-chins and uttering muffled cries, caught up in some purpose beyond my comprehension. Groups of women and children in beautiful traditional dresses and stunning with their hair held back with headpieces showing their clear, dark skin flocked about the scene. Music drifted from bars and stages and mariachi groups resplendent in their matching suits wandered amongst the chaos. Everybody was clearly taking such pride in their involvement, looming fathers and their diminutive sons comically standing beside each other in identical costumes. The energy, commitment and natural dancing movement of the children was a sight to behold; an inspiration to apathetic English youth.


We eventually came upon the others, engaged in heavy drinking having abandoned their masks some time before and we proceeded to fritter the rest of the afternoon away in a haze of tequila, dancing and people watching. As Laura and I walked to a taco stand in the growing dusk still in costume, the rest of the group having fragmented to get changed, we received warm smiles and requests for photos; with our masks removed we were once again in the spotlight, but there was an overwhelming sense of respect from the Mexicans for our commitment to participating in their traditions.

Chiapa de Corzo

19th January 2009



Friday 16 January 2009

Night of The Man-ladies

On Thursday after school, which finished early, I headed over to my Mexican family`s shop to try and procure a costume for the Fiesta de Chuntas. This fabled event that I`d heard about prior to arrival and subsequently since last Saturday is one of the jewels in the crown of the fiesta month, in which I had unwittingly arrived. All I knew was that the men of the town dress as women (which was, in all fairness, an event in itself), but tonight I was to find out a great deal more. My family had asked me, grinning over the dinner table some days ago, if I would be interested in cross dressing with everyone else and, still pursing my dream of cultural immersion, I enthusiastically (and rather naively) accepted.

On my arrival at the shop, Madre Tone rushed me around the corner to a seamstresses house where we were duly rejected (no more clothes for a man of my size), thus leaving me standing, clad in traditional women's garb of a long flowing purple skirt with floral print and a low cut cream blouse with frilly sleeves and lace lining in the house of Tone`s sister some ten minutes later. The occupants of the house watched with glee as extensive makeup was applied to my face, my hair was gelled back and a floral headpiece duly clipped in place. Tone and her sister spared no expense; beauty spots, eyeliner, mascara, lipstick - my first experience of being made up was thorough to say the least.

My transformation complete and the trappings of my previous male persona dispatched to my house via Tone, there was no escape. Her sister Icha, my incredibly kindly self nominated guardian and guide for the evening bundled me into the back of the family car with her grinning husband and deposited me around at the house of one of her relatives, to meet with other participants of the impending party. Sat on their sofa, dressed in full regalia and sandwiched between two archetypal Mexican men, large and trying very hard to assert their machismo, I began to wonder if I had made a terrible mistake. Thankfully I wasn`t subjected to this for long and in all fairness the people who had introduced themselves to me all seemed to be impressed and very encouraging of my plight, despite the fact that I couldn`t understand a bloody word that they were saying. Now amongst a selection of women wearing the same outfit as me, we progressed from the house into the night. Apparently heading for the heart of the party, I saw groups of men swaggering around in dresses and the crowds of spectators begin to swell as we approached the centre of town. I was quite a spectacle, with cars honking their horns and winding down their windows to shout at me; I dutifully shook the maraca at them with which I had been issued.

We rounded the corner by the base of the steps below the waterfront Church and suddenly encountered the procession of the Chuntas. It was a vast, pulsing mass of colour, noise, movement and pure, powerful energy, preceded by a single figure covered from head to toe in black body paint and cut off jeans, sporting a broom with which he swept the streets in a shuffling, hopping dance before the mob. Licha and I were swallowed up by the procession, and I found myself surrounded on all sides by jubilant dancing cross dressed Mexican men. The procession was driven by the relentless pounding of marching drums and whistle flutes, groups of three or four musicians interspersed throughout the spectacle, and elevated to incredible proportions by the rhythm that came from every single member of the party, stamped out with their feet as they danced and from the thousands of maracas shaken simultaneously. It was a beautiful, jubilant racket, punctuated by wild cries from indiscriminate callers within the crowd, most indecipherable to my ear but some like "Viva Chiapa de Corzo!" conveying the passion of the night, and answered with a roar from the rest of the crowd within earshot.

From Jon Chiapa de Corzo January 09

The procession crawled its way up the hill to a church where the revellers spilled into it, filling the building to capacity within minutes. The noise and passion from the participants was truly something to behold, amplified by the the high, arched ceilings. As quickly as the had arrived, the Chuntas surged for the small exit doors on the side of the church, and the vast mass of people squeezed through the tiny apertures, firing out into the street like a champagne cork from a bottle.

My initial feelings, aside from complete overawe and detached amusement were of inhibition. I didn`t understand the words of the people around me, felt intimidated by the passion and intensity and was very self conscious about all the attention I was attracting from my fellow party goers and the army of spectators; I really was the only white guy in a dress.

A glass and a bottle of Jose Cuervo tequila were thrust in my face by a dancer and his group, grinning encouragement at me. I obliged, several times, and my inhibitions slowly melted away, allowing me to become infused with the spirit and energy of the night. Icha was dancing and shaking with gusto dutifully beside me as I picked up my skirts like everyone around me and began to issue calls and joyful drunken exclamation to the Mexican skies. Fireworks exploded above and ahead of us sporadically set off, as I was later to learn, by an elderly gentleman with a full arsenal inside a huge backpack who trudged ahead of the revelry to direct the masses.

The crowd squeezed through the constricted streets, at times so tightly packed that it was almost impossible to walk. The beat of the drummers would waver and die at these times, crushed and drowned by the press of bodies, but the crowd would rumble at the silence and shift and within seconds the pounding rhythm would begin again, accompanied by a roar from the surrounding people.

Icha suddenly took me by the arm and pulled me inside an empty house whose doorway faced the street. Before I knew what was happening, the single, empty room with a huge alter at one end that constituted the interior was packed to the rafters with Chuntas and wild dancing, as in the church before, ensued. At some point the beat slowed and Icha bade me lower the maraca that I`d been shaking relentlessly for the last hour and a half. Only the dancing persisted until, without warning, the beat quickened and the assembled revellers cheered and the maracas were sounded again in earnest. As quickly as it had filled, the small room emptied leaving only a tiny wrinkled elderly woman with nut brown skin sat on a chair before the alter, head bowed.

We had, as far as I could ascertain in my awful Spanish, just paid homage to a saint by dancing in their house. The purpose of the procession was to visit each saint house and church in the town over the course of the next seven or eight hours, ending at about four in the morning. I still have no idea as to the purpose of the cross dressing.

I ended up dancing in that wonderful procession for four hours, finally conceding at midnight. I can`t possible write about every moment, much as I would like to, but some defining moments deserve a mention:

Showers of balloons; sweets and confetti falling from the balconies and roofs above the streets; sharing ice cold beers with Icha, bought from the coolbox on the tailgate of a truck parked opportunistically in a street swamped by the procession; ascending the long steps to a cathedral at the end of town and turning amidst all the colour and noise to look back down the steps and along the street overhung with flags of many colours to see the procession stretching for blocks; thousands and thousands of jubilant, dancing people, shining with sweat and dusted with confetti in a long, rippling crowd that ran through pools of streetlight and darkness, utterly immersed in something that would ebb and flow for many hours, but always be possessed by the same raw energy and lust for life that made me thank my lucky stars for deciding, all those months ago, to cast myself into the unknown.

Chiapa de Corzo
10th January 2009

Footnote: It was retrospectively brought to my attention that the short interview that was forced upon me mid-procession by a cameraman and interviewer who were undeterred by my inability to understand them or speak Spanish has made national television. I am now a celebrity among the children that I teach. Viva Jon.

Reasons I Love Chiapa de Corzo 1

Tucked away in the corner of the central plaza is the "Heladaria y Paletaria", or Ice Cream and Lolly Shop; the lynch pin of my daily routine. For a paltry ten pesos (roughly 50p) you can procure a nice chunky ice lolly crafted entirely from 100% pulped fruit. Mmmmmmm.

There´s all kinds of fresh fruit and veg sold around here; a bag of peeled and sliced mango from a street vendor can be yours for 10 pesos, and there's a fantastic fruit and veg market right around the corner from my house where I can purchase my weight in vitamin laden produce for considerably less than I experienced in the UK. It´s easy and cheap to eat healthily here, you´ve just got to try and avoid pounding yourself with the extensive and rigorously marketed range of sweets and soft drinks that seem to be a mainstay in the Mexican diet...


Chiapa de Corzo
24th January 2009




Monday 12 January 2009

Challenge Clarke pt 1


During a recent correspondence with my good friend Polly Williams, I was reminded by her of a series of tasks that were outlined during my brief tenure in Dorset prior to my departure. I was challenged to complete the following tasks:

- ride something not of the equine world (i.e. no horses allowed)
- find out about Mexicans before the Mexicans, as it were
- purchase, and enjoy parading in, some handmade footwear

I have, and continue to, endeavour to meet these challenges, and am delighted to say that one is complete, the other in progress and the last still awaiting my attention but with increasing urgency as the heat of the day is making my current choice of footwear progressively more anti-social.

And so to my first challenge; riding something not of an equine nature. After much deliberation I chose to utilise the nearby fairground in the central plaza of the town, choosing a ride from the gut churning spinning-ride-of-death family. My animal of choice was the Cyber Loop, displayed below in its full glory:


To counteract any voices of disbelief, I have taken the liberty of providing some on-board footage of my encounter. To spare you three minutes of my high pitched screams, I have obliged you with the latter half of the ride, from the point at which I am hanging upside down.


Chiapa de Corzo
12th January 2009

Monday 5 January 2009

A surprise party

Strolling through the streets of CDC in the early evening with my fellow TEFL prototypes, Martin and Laura, last night I found one of the amiable smiles and nods that I was endeavouring to exchange with any willing Mexican returned with gusto by one particular elderly gentleman. He was positioned in the open driveway of a particularly well appointed house, grinning at me with the few select teeth remaining in his head. He was gesturing wildly down the street and, beset by curiosity, I herded my hesitant course mates towards him with the intention of using their superior language skills to find out what all the fuss was about. It transpired after a brief discourse that a procession of some kind was being instigated further down the street with the intention of arriving for some sort of celebration at the house outside which we were currently residing.

Before we knew it, we were swept up in the procession, a spirited and thoroughly confusing affair involving lit candles, projectile fireworks set off from the hands of the participants and a liberal, sporadic application of firecrackers during the proceedings. The procession moved slowly down the street with the three of us brandishing live fireworks, sparklers and cameras trying to preserve the moment until we reached the gateway to the house. At this point a lit firework was thrust into my unsuspecting hand by none other than my host mother Toni, who was also apparently the procession. I grasped the cascading shower of sparks at arms length until it became clear from the forceful sounding monologue from my surrogate parent that I was in danger of burning my fingers off, upon which point I hurled the flaming tube onto the impressively sized pile of firework detritus that marked the output of the procession.

Still utterly bemused by the turn of events, we were led inside the house courtyard to a large seated area where the procession became a congregation, utilising the chairs and engaging themselves in a ten minute ritual of singing at a huge altar and surrounding display on a nativity theme. After this ceased, members of the congregation appeared with trays of liqueur and some sort of punch ("Poncha!"), handing us the cups with wide smiles and words that sounded welcoming, despite my inability to comprehend anything that they were saying. Our drinks were soon supplemented with bags of candy and as we sat and pensively chewed on the contents, all of the people around us chatted with us, introducing one another and allowing us to become acquainted with a number of students from the language school at which we would soon be teaching.

After half an hour or so of very patient and enjoyable chat with the attendees, people started to drift out of the front gate, back into the night. Laura and I found Martin at the entrance engaged in conversation with the same elderly perpetrator of the latest bizarre but highly enjoyable testament to the mind blowing hospitality of the people of Chiapas and with the spoils of the night clutched in our hands and smiles on our faces, we finally proceeded back down the street.

Chiapa de Corzo
Monday 5th January

Sunday 4 January 2009

Out and About

Taking the opportunity to bumble around the town in the heat of the day (I`m not due to start the TEFL course until Monday) was a wonderful assault on the senses and my poor, travel tired brain. The hustle and bustle of the weekend market pushed me past stalls purveying a range of fabrics, clothing, food and fantastic tat on to the long, shallow steps that fronted the west facing facade of the huge, colonial church, resplendent in a coat of white paint, edged by a deep terracotta red.
Standing on the steps shaded by a large tree whose fallen blossoms littered the steps, I was overwhelmed by their fragrance combined with the smell drifting over from the stalls cooking meats, nuts and sweet breads. All of this, combined with the insistent warmth on my shoulders and back brought memories flooding back of previous travels in central America and Asia.


Wandering down the steps, I came upon the banks of the river that we`d crossed earlier, furnished with a range of restaurants, or "cantinas". In the true spirit of opportunism , each one of these establishments had seized upon the realization that providing a trio of marimba musicians (a drummer and two keyboard players, both installed on the same huge wooden instrument) to furnish the patrons with music would bring more business. Any of these musical groups playing alone would have been a delight, as all the musicians were clearly very skilled, but unfortunately every single establishment had its own group, each of which were sometimes no further than ten feet of one another. The net result of this phenomenon was akin to the drawn out collision of two, marching band carrying, flatbed lorries. Hilariously, every single diner refused to acknowledge the hideous jumbled racket that ensued, and incredibly each separate ensemble managed to maintain perfect timing on its respective tune.

As I walked back from the river, I glimpsed a wonderful range of enterprises and activities through the multitude of open doors and windows of the back streets, fling wide to counter the heat of the day; a man cutting beams to length beside intricate carvings of Jesus; racks of coffins shrink wrapped and presumably awaiting owners; a room full of men sitting beside broken televisions, staring into space, a wedding with two hundred people dressed in their finery, green ribbons wrapped around tables and decorating the hall. At each of these, I glanced briefly and hurried past, feeling somewhat alienated by my surroundings and the acknowledgement of my inability to communicate and achieve a deeper understanding with these people.

Just before I reached my doorway, I noticed two small girls, no greater in age than six or seven. They were perched on a doorstep; one was playing with a mobile phone and the other was methodically removing matches from the box in her hand, striking them and flicking them into the street.

Chiapa de Corzo
Sunday 4th January 2009

The Clarke Show rolls into town

I`m sitting in the central plaza of my new home town, chiapa de Corzo at some indiscriminate time in the morning, all the clocks here either seem to be broken or defining their own unique time zone. It`s a warm cloudless morning, and groups of Mexican tourists and locals drift by as a steady stream of traffic circumnavigates the square while I sit in the shade of one of the many trees dotted around the plaza.

I was picked up from Tuxtla Gutierrez airport after a short wait by Enrique, the husband of the director of the Dunham Institute. A well presented and polite chap, he was in possession of an enviable fluency in English, allowing us to chat on the short ride to Chiapa de Corzo. The road wound its way over dry scrub land punctuated by desperate trees and dusty roadside settlements before sweeping right over a wide river that, to the left of the bridge, flowed into the beginnings of the deep Sumidero Canyon.

We cut a right off the highway and with a verbal flourish Enrique pronounced "Welcome to Chiapa de Corzo!". The first thing that struck me about the town as we drove through it was the colour. CDC is a colonial settlement about 500 years old, and viewed as a rather special item in Mexico`s cultural portfolio so the residents seem to have made efforts to present the town well; residential houses dotted around the narrow streets through which we drove were painted in a wide range of vibrant colours which, despite a seemingly callous disregard for the laws of palette matching, combined to create a wonderful spectacle.

Negotiating the indecipherable system of one way streets, we arrived at the institute and I was introduced to Joanna, a perpetually smiling redhead with a booming voice who for the majority of our time together seemed to have a tired child draped over her. She drove me in spiralling circles around the town to assist my orientation and drop me off with my host family. On our travels, Jo pointed out an ancient set of steps, sandwiched between two branches of a fork in the road. "That" she explained, "Is part of one of the oldest Mayan ruins in the world; the site is huge. It is also" she went on, "The same site upon which Nestle decided to build a milk factory". Indeed as we swung around the corner, I could see a blocky industrial buildings and gleaming white cylindrical towers, all bearing the badge of the company in question.

With my head spinning with the orientation and sights of the (admittedly rather small) town, I was almost slightly relieved when I was dropped off at the family house and introduced, over the course of a couple of hours and a variety of locations about town the the entirety of my host family; Padre Javier, Madre Toni, brother and sisters Javier Jr, Toni Jr (easy enough) and Andrea and Dolly the Dog, one and a half years old and in possession of a rather unfortunate combination of a dislike of strangers and an astounding capacity for forgetfulness. Since my arrival they have all been incredibly welcoming, giving their food to me at the dinner table on my first rather jet lagged day instead of unleashing me into the community to find something and, despite an obvious aptitude for English tenaciously persist in speaking to me in Spanish; presumably a frustrating exercise as my contribution to these conversations is rusty and limited at best and seems to revolve around the verbs "to be" and "to have"...

Chiapa de Corzo
4th January 2009

Saturday 3 January 2009

Night Time above Ol`Mexico City

As the stewardess announces our descent into "Meheeco" I slide my window shutter up to see the sprawl of lights below, stretching far into the distance. As I watch, the neat, regimented blocks of streetlights lazily transform over the course of a couple of miles into a snaking chaos of roads that twist and wind in a way that reminds me of the more quirky elements of town planning in Bristol.

The plane banks left and drops steadily groundward as as it makes an approach, and an incredible vista suddenly unfolds; the land buckles, creases and undulates like the sheet of an unmade bed and everything, everything, is covered in lights, hundreds of thousands of lights packed densely together in a blinking, twinkling field of luminosity as each light fights for its own supply of electricity. My nose is glued to the window like a portly child outside a sweet shop as the plane drops lower, only a couple of hundred feet above the cityscape. I can pick out the gaps between the lights; it is only 5am in the morning but the traffic bustles along a silver lit motorway, groups of people are gathered at corners and crossroads and strung above the narrow streets between buildings I can see criss-crossed strings of colourful bulbs and flags. My self indulgent state of loneliness and nostalgia is swept aside as I contemplate this spectacle; truly a hotbed of possibility, change and excitement.

Mexico City Airport
3rd January 2009

Friday 2 January 2009

Prologue

As the saying goes, the greatest journey begins with the smallest step. It transpires that for the past 6 months I have been tentatively shuffling forwards to what has turned out to be the proverbial high diving board; what I`m now facing is not the first step, but the product of the first few.

This began in earnest 6 month ago when, towards the latter end of July and disarmingly early in a Spanish holiday I made my decision as the product of a great deal of deliberation to to leave my job selling plastic suitcases to the under-five jet set and realise a slightly vague and deluded ambition to live and work somewhere that English was more likely to get you into trouble than into a job.

Decision made, I set about sealing my fate by informing just about anybody who would listen to my scheme (as a task in itself this was not too hard; my "elevator pitch" was deliverable within 30 seconds, owing to fundamental lack of one thing - detail) thus employing The Crushing Pressure of Potential Shame in the event that my optimistic plans fell into an untidy heap.

As well as bullying myself into a state of enthusiastic momentum, I endeavoured to find out exactly what it was that I would do with my abrupt change in direction. This, as far as I can remember, stemmed from the most part from one person; Louise Whitaker. Lou was (and probably still is) the elder sister of friend`s girlfriend, possesed by a drive and determination equal to that of a blind darts champion. She is a fantastic girl and I have no idea why but, in an act of incredible charity she took me under her wing, introducing me to every conceivable branch of her contact network and graciously labouring my rambling discourses as I attempted to flesh out the definition of my future. She`d been involved in the Fair Trade industry for some years and it gradually became apparent over time and conversations regarding topics ranging from microfinance to aid work and global exporting that I`d developed a very bankable set of skills during my relentless global pursuit of families aspiring to alleviate the screams of their children in transit. The second revelation to offer hope to my ill conceived ambition was that I really quite enjoyed the business of imports and exports, in which I was suitably steeped, and the possibility of a fulfilling career overseas engaged in such pursuits seemed to be almost within the confines of realism.

However, even as the froth of excitement started to accumulate on my lips, it became all too apparent from the range of meetings with Lou`s equally patient and kind contacts that despite my commercial nouse I was woefully lacking in any language aptitude, a skill apparently essential for any aspiring loon wishing to work abroad in Latin America, my shallowly considered choice of location. Despite my most sustained and determined application of optimism it became clear that to work in Fair Trade abroad I would have to achieve fluency in Spanish. Undeterred, I modified my one step plan to involve a preliminary step; my internal flow diagram of intended progress now read thus;

Become fluent in Spanish (1) - Work in Fair Trade in Latin America (2)

Having pursued 2) as far as could be reasonably expected, I turned my attention to 1). Reaching out to everyone I knew that had lived of worked in Latin America, visited or travelled there or looked like they had any vaguely useful scrap of information to impart, I drew the conclusion that my likeliest route to fluency lay in getting a job that leveraged my default asset of being a native English speaker. In teaching English, or at least helping others to teach it, I would be in a position to immerse myself in a Spanish speaking community and through some mystical process emerge from the situation in a state of fluency. Sailing along on the rosy cloud of assumption and an ill-founded prejudice against teaching qualifications, I duly dispatched applications to teaching institutions in Colombia and Peru, inviting the principles of the schools to hire me on the basis of rusty private tuition and water sports instruction experience and an ability to do rather well in making things up as I went along. As it transpired, this was strategically a poor idea.

In the months of fruitless pursuit of my applications the closest to a response that I managed to illicit came from the ill tempered headmaster of Newton College in Peru, in informed me in as many words that without teaching qualifications I would be better suited to an alternative line of employment.

By now it was December 2008, and with the Crushing Pressure of Potential Shame dictating a departure in January 2009 I was feeling my optimism gazing with a worrying lust as the emergency exit door in the back of my brain. I had no flights booked, no idea of the work that I might be involved with, and absolutely no idea as to which country I might end up in. It was partly the desperation at the uncertainty and partly an adolescent knee-jerk reaction to the sour-voiced headmaster`s comments that caused me to decide to book a flight without plans of employment post-arrival, but fortunately this idea was derailed before it had any opportunity to take off.

Fate has been watching me flail around for long enough, and it finally dealt me a good hand; a bubbly and patient Spanish teacher by the name of Claire. She had witnessed my single handed battle with her language of choice, Spanish, some 6 months earlier. She had relied to one of the many emails that I had sent out in in the "carpet-bombing" approach to information gathering that I had developed over the past couple of months, informing me by recommendation of a "language exchange" program run in a small town called Chiapa de Corzo in Mexico. This, it transpired, was exactly what I had been groping around for; daily Spanish lessons in exchange for English lessons administered by me to the unwitting pupils of the Dunham Institute, purveyor of the exchange scheme. I noted with relish on close inspection of their website that all teachers were placed with local families, thereby facilitating the "cultural immersion" that I desired. There was one complication, albeit a small one compared to some of the more sizable issues placed in my path by my unique blend of bloody mindedness and blind faith, that I was required to be qualified to the Teaching English as a Foreign Language (TEFL) standard. This proved to be a problem easily circumnavigated however, as a single call to the director of the institute revealed that they ran TEFL training courses and delighted in training their own teaching staff. With the teaching semester for the exchange program running from February and the 4 week TEFL course neatly dove-tailing with this for my desired January departure, it finally seemed that things were starting to come together. For the first time in months, I was able to start telling my friends and family about concrete plans and the Crushing Pressure was sated.

The next month was a whirlwind of booking courses and flights and engaging in the organisation of the innumerable things that constitute the tying off of loose ends characterising an old life, and forming the arrangements that define a new one. As the date of my flight drew nearer and the frequency of goodbyes increased, from my work colleagues and friends from university and home, I could feel strange layers of numbness and denial slowly being stripped away as I slowly but surely came to realise that the improbable plan, hatched months ago and tinkered with as if I was a car fanatic doggedly and repeatedly resurrecting an elderly automobile, was actually going to happen and that I was going to leave behind some wonderful friends, a great job and a committed and loving family.

My parents, bless them, put on their bravest faces and drove me to the airport as I frantically stuffed what I deemed to be my most essential possessions into a rucksack in the back seat. All the way to the departure gate, I was incredibly privileged to receive a constant stream of messages on my phone wishing me luck and future happiness.

Owing to a disinclination to pay my remaining mobile phone contract, I was to dispense with my SIM card and leave my Mother the phone to use at her discretion. Having wiped the memory and removed the card, I said goodbye to them with a lump in my throat at the security desk.

As I sat in the departure lounge, turning over the SIM card in my hands I reflected on its electronic list of contacts, contained in a shell half the size of a postage stamp. Despite the knowledge that the world is a small place brought closer together by cheap flights, the Internet, VoIP phones, email and all those other incredible developments, I suddenly felt overwhelmingly alone.

As the sound of the call to boarding for my flight was heard over the tannoy, I folded my SIM card neatly in half and, walking briskly to the departure gate, dropped it in the bin.

Barcelona Airport
2nd January 2009